Sometimes, it is your job to boost your partner’s motivation…

An empire builder on my list recently sent me a question about supporting their partner when they’re struggling with low self-belief.

They asked: 

“How do you handle communication with Grant, when he is struggling to believe in himself?” 

Well, low self-belief is a complicated problem. It can spring up for all kinds of reasons.

But in my experience with Grant…

When he struggles to believe in himself, it usually boils down to him feeling like the odds are stacked against him.

Because his environment has shifted beyond his control.

Which does not happen very often for Grant.

But when it does, his self-belief can take a temporary nosedive.   

I’ll give you an example:

A few years back, I persuaded Grant to appear on the hit TV show Undercover Billionaire…

Which, if you haven’t seen it, is a show all about building a million-dollar business from scratch.  

With no money…

No contacts…

And with a fake identity.  (So you can’t lean on your reputation to get a headstart) 

At first, Grant resisted appearing on Undercover Billionaire.

But I eventually talked him into it.  Anyway…  

While Grant was away filming…

And while he was building his million-dollar business from scratch…

He would call me on the phone every day.

And during these phone calls one thing became clear:  Grant was struggling.

And he did not believe he could make it.  Not without his brand…

His Rolodex…

His social media following…

And his overflowing bank account. 

All this created a perfect storm where Grant’s environment had shifted beyond his control.

Which – as I said earlier – is the #1 trigger for Grant struggling to believe in himself.  

And it created a situation where, night after night, Grant would hang up the phone in frustration. 

So, how did I handle communicating with Grant to get him back on track?   

For starters, I dug deep into my knowledge of Grant.

And I remembered the ONE THING that always boosts my partner’s motivation in difficult situations: his haters.

So, the next time Grant called…

I reeled off a list of all the people who had wanted him to fail in school, college, his early career, and in business. 

And all the people who were wishing failure on him at that time.  And you know what? 

I never made it to the bottom of Grant’s haters list.

Because, before I could finish reading, Grant hung up.

Only, instead of hanging up in frustration…

Grant hung up on me to complete his “impossible” challenge of building a business from scratch.

Of course…

Listing a bunch of haters might not be an effective strategy for you.  Because what motivates Grant might not motivate YOUR partner.

However, I think this story highlights an important point.

If you reflect on your relationship…

If you look for patterns in what gets your partner fired up…

The right way to communicate when your partner struggles to believe in themselves will come to you.    

Build an empire,

Elena Cardone

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