Like many other parents, I cannot believe how fast my daughters — Scarlett and Sabrina — have grown up. Each of them has achieved so many accomplishments. Yet, one of the things I admire most about them is how self-sufficient they are. While I’m not solely responsible, here’s what I do to encourage them…
How I Empower My Daughters to be Self-Sufficient
Now, I will never claim that I am always a perfect mom. Nonetheless, Grant and I make concerted efforts to ensure our girls have every opportunity to succeed.
That covers a spectrum of things — from our decisions about their education to teaching them about money early on. But when I get asked about parenting, it’s usually about topics that are more difficult to define…
LIKE BEING SELF-SUFFICIENT AND CONFIDENT.
Of course, you are never guaranteed that your kids will become independent and happy adults. However, there are some ways that you can gently push them in the right direction…
Treating My Girls as INDIVIDUALS
With all the parenting advice out there, it is sometimes easy to forget that kids are younger people. Each one has their own distinct personalities.
SO, TREATING THEM IN A “GENERAL” WAY WON’T WORK!
For that reason, the way I teach my daughters life skills — like being self-sufficient — is tailored to each of them…
Separately.
I encourage you to do the same as we go through the rest of these tips. After all, the first step to self-sufficiency is to grant them respect for being themselves.
Giving Advice ONLY When They’re Open to Receive It
To be honest with you all, this is something that I have only been able to accomplish recently. And that is not immediately jumping into a lecture when one of my girls tells me about a situation they’re facing.
I recently discussed this very topic with my oldest daughter, Sabrina, on my podcast. Which, she admitted that she barely remembered my long speeches!
I know that it is difficult as a parent to not offer a solution, but there are several things you must understand…
- Your children may just be sharing information with you.
- Kids will likely ignore the advice they don’t ask for.
- They can’t become self-sufficient if you hand them all the answers.
Of course, there is a fine line between letting them figure things out and knowing when to step in. Yet when they do work it out or accomplish something on their own, you must let them know that you noticed…
Reinforcing Their Wins
For anyone to become certain, they must be acknowledged for doing the right thing. Otherwise, adults and children fumble around and hope their decisions are correct.
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT THAT DOESN’T SOUND VERY SELF-SUFFICIENT TO ME…
Therefore, I make it a priority to make firm the wins whenever Scarlett or Sabrina takes the initiative. Now, don’t get me wrong…
I do not reward them with material things every time these things occur. But I do say something letting them know I noticed and am proud of them.
That encourages them to keep making similar choices confidently. However, there is one last piece to all of this and it can be the toughest yet…
Navigating their Transition from Kids to Self-Sufficient Adults
As a mother, a part of me will always see my daughters as my little girls. Nonetheless, they are quickly moving from being young ladies into adulthood…
As such, a key part of strengthening their ability to be self-sufficient is simply recognizing that fact.
Hard as that is, it is something that we must do as parents. After all, they are responsible for the future of the world.
There comes a time when we have to trust them with the empires we’ve built. We just must allow them to use the abilities we’ve taught them to continue our legacies…
Build an Empire,
Elena Cardone
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