When you’re in a high-profile relationship like mine and Grant’s, you’re going to get some crazy questions…
Hey, that’s okay!
After my husband and I overcame our biggest financial struggle in 2008, we decided to pull back the curtain and live our lives in the spotlight.
And sometimes, being in the public eye means addressing some controversial relationship questions.
But this is what I signed up for when I made the commitment for Grant and I to be an influential power couple.
For this reason, let’s keep it real and dive into my answers to questions most people are afraid to answer…
Top 10 Tough Relationship Questions — and My Unfiltered Answers to Them
At first, I was shocked people were interested in my role as the woman beside the man.
But it turns out that all of you are trying to figure out how to run a business and relationship simultaneously as well.
Over the years, you guys have asked me some spicy relationship questions. They span a variety of topics, from finances to S-E-X…
So, I’ve put together the top 10 here and gave my responses — honestly.
And you may be surprised at what I have to say about a couple of these topics in particular…
1. “Should You Accept Your Partner the Way They Are?”
First of all, I think that the statement “love them the way they are” is total BS.
Of course, you should build a relationship with someone you have a strong affinity for. No one is going to argue with you there.
That being said, how they are now should be a launching pad to achieve even more greatness.
I believe the most valuable gift one can give their partner is the best version of themselves. Therefore, it is a disservice to both if you are not pushing the other person to their full potential — and vice versa.
That is how you maintain a lasting relationship.
But now, the bigger question is this…
2. “Is Love Overrated?”
My hopeless romantics are not going to like what I have to say about this one… but love is indeed overrated.
Before you rip me apart, let me explain what I mean…
I do agree that the first spark of amour between two people is a beautiful, amazing thing.
However, that flame becomes inconsistent over time.
Making eyes at one another is not going to get you through difficult times or solve your problems.
But you know what will?
Having a shared purpose and mission.
To be fully transparent, there are times when Grant makes me incredibly frustrated. In those moments, I could get into petty arguments with him, but I don’t.
Instead, I know our mission is bigger. And bickering when he steals my toothbrush won’t help us accomplish it faster.
So, more accurately, I suppose what I am trying to say is that love alone is not enough. A large-scale goal you pursue together is ultimately more fulfilling.
Now, let’s tackle the not-so-politically-correct topic of finances…
3. “Should Married Couples Have Joint or Separate Bank Accounts?”
Eventually, there will come a time in your relationship where this tough question will come up — separate or joint bank accounts?
In short, the answer is both.
As a couple, I believe you should have a joint bank account where you both contribute.
On the other hand, you also need to have another account just for yourself.
Here’s how I see it…
There are always going to be expenses and things I want to buy that my husband just isn’t going to understand. Make-up. Salon days. Clothes.
Additionally, Grant buys things that don’t make sense to me either.
Keeping two separate accounts allows us to maintain independence and purchase the items the other may not view as important.
Apart from the main account, money is ours to do with as we please.
Now, I’m not suggesting to be irresponsible or keep secrets. In actuality, I encourage you to pay all your expenses out of the shared account.
Once everything else is taken care of, have your account for you.
For my marriage, this practice has saved us from countless unnecessary arguments. Money is the number one reason most marriages fail, after all.
Moving on, you know we also have to talk about that other big factor for couples…
4. “Is Sex Really That Important?”
Okay, this is the most controversial of the polarizing relationship questions I’m going to answer in this article. In all honesty, I don’t understand why people dance around it…
Sex is important to your relationship!
If you claim it isn’t, you’re lying to yourself. Sex is the difference between a romantic partner and a close friendship.
You have to remember there is still another person in this partnership — and their needs — to take into consideration. As a result, even if you’re not “in the mood,” you must create the atmosphere on your own.
In addition to the act itself, communicating about intimacy should be your priority. Otherwise, one or both of you won’t get what you want from each other.
Relationships are hard enough as it is. Make yours easier by knowing what is expected.
But ultimately, who sets those expectations and calls the shots?
5. “Who’s the ‘Boss’ in the Relationship?”
Ask any couple who wears the pants, and without a doubt, you’ll get two different answers…
And both of them are completely right.
A successful couple will both be the boss of different areas of the relationship.
For example, I am in charge of everything related to managing the household and raising the children. In those matters, Grant has to listen to me.
By the same token, he is the boss when it comes to running the business, as he has more experience than me — over 35 years. Therefore, I defer to Grant in those situations.
The name of the game here is to know who has what strengths and let that person call the plays in that area. In doing so, your partnership will remain a winning team.
6. “Marry for Love or Money?”
I positioned this answer directly after the last because they build upon one another perfectly.
As I previously mentioned, love alone will not sustain a meaningful relationship. That being said, take into account what I said in the section right before this one.
Think about what each of your superpowers and roles are in the partnership — and what you need.
If you are someone who is more business-minded, you don’t necessarily need someone who brings more money into a marriage. However, you may need a partner who can keep you motivated and organized in other areas of your life.
See what I mean?
Regardless, you do need to have a shared vision and goal you’re chasing. Without them, wealth or love will be misused or wasted.
7. “What Happens When You Fall Out of Love?”
When you’re a couple long enough, there will be times when you feel like you’re “falling out of love” with them.
There are two routes you can take in this context…
Be the effect of the situation and leave…
Or take responsibility and figure it out.
Grant and I have been married over 18 years. There have certainly been rough patches here and there.
Despite all obstacles, we are still married today.
This is because whenever I feel that flame starting to dim, I examine a few things:
- How are my shortcomings as a wife affecting the relationship?
- Is our purpose worth fighting for?
- What actions can I take to get us back on track?
Once I figure these things out, I find that I’m in love again and we can keep creating this incredible life we have.
You can restore the love if the shared mission is worth fighting for.
But once we became parents, we had to add the kids to the equation as well…
8. “Should You Always Put Family First?”
Of course you should put family first — when it needs to be. There are times when my business, my marriage, or even my personal life requires the majority of my attention.
The real trick is how to make our girls understand when mom and dad have to be present elsewhere, so they don’t feel neglected.
Contrary to what you may think, communicating to your kids in this way is not as hard as it sounds.
From the time my children were very small, Grant and I let them know what our goals were as a family. We instilled in them that their parents were trying to help seven billion people in the world, and sometimes we had to be away to do so…
As a result, the girls know that by allowing us to be away without getting upset, they were helping those people too.
So, no, family isn’t always first. However, the whole family being on the same page makes this possible with no issues.
9. “How Important Is It to Be Open About Finances and Spending Habits?”
Although we touched on separate and joint accounts, let’s dig deeper into how necessary it is for your partner to be aware of your spending habits.
First, you need to have a difficult discussion about money — what your long-term goals are, where the money goes, and in what amount.
When that is clear, there is no need to worry about who is spending what because you have that trust. You’ll feel no reluctance to show your receipts to the other person, if asked.
Furthermore, you and your significant other should revisit the conversation often. Because I do this with Grant, I can adjust my spending habits.
Keep the dialogue open.
10. “Do You NEED a Life Partner?”
Besides food, water, and shelter, there are few things that we actually need — life partners included.
What I will say is that a partner makes things a lot easier.
Having the right person by your side who is aligned with your best interests and aspirations is invaluable. If you look through all of human history, anyone who has done anything noteworthy had help.
So, while it is not necessary to have a significant other, it does give you an advantage.
To be honest, for many years, I thought I didn’t need anyone else, that there was no one else I could trust…
And it prolonged my road to success.
I encourage you to find the person you trust and build an empire.
How Can You Improve the Relationships in Your Life?
Lastly, the most successful relationships constantly create and improve upon themselves. To accomplish this, you need to have the tools — and be willing to implement them.
I have seen the power of a great relationship for myself and every area of my life firsthand. It’s something I am highly passionate about. And I want to give everyone else that same gift.
For this reason, I developed the BAE Relationships Mastermind to share what has worked in my life. If you want to take advantage of my trial and error, you can register here, and bring that special someone too…
At the end of the day, your personal prosperity begins at home with those closest to you.
Who you give access to your life is important. And that means having to ask yourself the difficult relationship questions — and answering them honestly.
Build your relationship and empire on a strong foundation.
Elena Cardone
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