Being a mother is hard enough without society pressuring you to be the perfect mom. Social media can make you feel like you’re coming up short. But, you don’t have to be “flawless” to be a great parent. Further, I’ll tell you my real-life parenting tips to make it all work…
I can almost guarantee that you’ve seen at least one of these…
An Instagram post with perfectly coordinated first birthday party decorations…
The smiling Facebook photos from the first day of kindergarten…
When your kids dove headfirst into the cake and screamed as you left them with the teacher.
THESE INSTANCES CAN MAKE ANYONE FEEL LIKE THEY ARE THE ONLY MOM IN THE WORLD WHO ISN’T PERFECT!
Luckily, the role of a mother is not to take pretty pictures. And, that is what we are going to talk about today…
Perfect Mom Tips for the “Imperfect”
The purpose of parenthood is to raise contributing members of society. So despite whatever we see online, being impeccable has nothing to do with that.
Mother of three and author Sara Peterson commented on this in The Washington Post:
“I THINK WE’VE ALWAYS BEEN PERFORMING MOTHERHOOD FOR VARIOUS AUDIENCES, BUT WITH THE ADVENT OF SOCIAL MEDIA, IT FEELS AS THOUGH WE ARE ONSTAGE AT ALL TIMES.”
Well, the world may be a stage but motherhood is not. It was liberating for me when I had the realization I didn’t have to be the perfect mom 24/7…
With that in mind, these are my tips for creating an environment for my daughters, Scarlett and Sabrina, can flourish and prosper.
Handle What REALLY Matters
This first tip is true for all mothers, but is especially important for my working mamas to hear…
YOU DON’T NEED TO HAVE TUNNEL VISION ON YOUR CHILDREN ALL THE TIME TO BE A GREAT MOM.
Whether it’s from internal or external pressure, many of us feel a sense of guilt. Sometimes for putting in extra hours at work or participating in non-family activities.
Instead, think about it this way…
Working more creates better opportunities for your children…
Additionally, self-development makes you the best version of yourself for them.
In contrast, this does not mean that there are no times when you have to drop everything for your kids. You just have to know when and what is the priority.
To accomplish this, you have to be aware and attentive…
Hear What Your Kids Have to Say
At this point, it is apparent that my goal with this article is to challenge the “perfect mom” stereotype. However, you don’t want to go in the other direction either…
So as you listen to your kids, really hear them. Know the situations going on with their lives, as well as the obstacles and feelings surrounding them.
Then, you can be your children’s hero when they need you and the time you spend with them is higher quality.
My girls are certain they can come to me with anything, but they are 14 and 12 years old.
So sometimes, I have to use my mom senses and pry a little to help them. I am not Scarlett and Sabrina’s favorite person in those moments.
BUT I’D RATHER BE A GREAT PARENT THAN A PERFECT MOM.
And that conveniently brings us to my last point…
Don’t Compare Yourself to Other Parents
Because Grant and I live in the public eye, we have been criticized for our parenting choices.
NONETHELESS, I STAND WITH OUR DECISIONS BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE KNOWS WHAT WORKS FOR MY FAMILY.
Additionally, they don’t live your life. On the other side of the coin, you are not living theirs.
That’s more than enough reason to avoid the most toxic game — comparison. What a perfect mom is for a specific child in specific situations does not necessarily translate to another…
Especially your life.
Fighting and doing the right thing for your children may not be popular…
It may not always be glamorous…
And guess what? That’s okay. Those things don’t matter.
Moms have the most important mission on Planet Earth — to empower future generations.
The ONLY People Who Need to Think You’re a Perfect Mom
At the end of the day, there are only four people I care think I’m perfect as a mom…
Sabrina…
Scarlett…
My husband…
Then, myself.
Remember, that the legacy you leave for your children should be life skills, happiness, and health. Aesthetically pleasing photos, approval from others, and less than your best won’t serve them in the future.
As long as you are giving it 100%, you are a perfect mom in my eyes.
Build an Empire,
Elena Cardone
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