All great relationships have hard times. The most important thing is that you don’t give up. However, it makes things SIGNIFICANTLY easier if you have some tools to navigate through a marriage rut. For that reason, I’m going to share five strategies I’ve learned over 20 years of being married…
5 Simple Ways to Break Through a Marriage Rut
It goes without saying that marriages take work.
Even after you find the perfect partner, you and they are human at the end of the day. So, it is natural that sometimes you two aren’t the picture of wedded bliss.
My husband, Grant, and I have certainly had our ups and downs!
Nonetheless, we always overcome the obstacles because we know that marriage is about more than just “romantic” love…
IT’S ABOUT BUILDING A FULFILLING LIFE.
Your spouse and you can get through this tough time as well. Just implement these tips to get back on the same page…
Commit to Reversing the Rut in Your Marriage
As I mentioned earlier, even the best relationships take effort. Therefore, step one to get your marriage out of a rut is to buckle down and make a commitment.
And, I don’t mean a wishy-washy one. I want you to make a strong, failure-is-not-an-option commitment to reignite the fire.
OTHERWISE, YOU WILL PUT IT OFF, THE SITUATION WILL CONTINUE, AND YOU’LL GROW APART…
Which is the exact thing we are trying to avoid!
On top of that, creativity follows commitment — which you’ll need throughout the following steps…
Open the Door for Conversation
No one likes having difficult conversations with their loved ones. But the only way to handle any problem is to tackle it head-on.
That being said, you don’t want to just spring this discussion on them…
Whatever your partner’s personality is, make sure that when you talk about this subject:
- They aren’t tired or irritable.
- There are no distractions.
- There is plenty of time to talk.
Those criteria ensure that you are heard and get feedback from your spouse on getting out of your marriage rut.
I also want to note that it is likely that this won’t be entirely handled with one heart-to-heart.
That’s okay!
The goal here is to get the conversation going and to start thinking about solutions. The next step is a fix that has always worked for me…
Work Towards a Goal TOGETHER
In my experience, ruts in a marriage stem from you losing sight of your purpose as a couple.
It’s easy to start going on autopilot when you’ve been in a relationship for a while. So, a great way to reconnect is to start a project together.
This project should be exciting and have a definite target.
Some great examples are:
- Fundraising for a cause you both are passionate about.
- Renovating and home improvement.
- Learning a new skill together.
Whatever it is, it will create common ground and you’ll see how strong you are together. And since you are already doing new things with your spouse…
Get NEW Friends
Now, I am not telling you to ditch your old friends. But you have to admit if you have had the same circle for five to ten years, you’re probably not growing!
AND LACK OF PERSONAL AND JOINT GROWTH IS CONTRIBUTING TO YOUR MARRIAGE RUT!
It’s time to have some new adventures with different people. Here’s some advice from Grant and me on finding quality friends…
Your new friend group should be very ethical and inspire you to achieve more. In short, reach up! Then after connecting with high-level people, I want you and your spouse to get out of town.
Change Your Scenery
Yes, you two should physically leave your current environment if you’re going through a rut in your marriage.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO FAR, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE A CHANGE FROM YOUR NORMAL SPACE.
This step has the same logic behind it as the one above. You are stuck in the same aimless daily routine as a couple. That is what a rut is.
For that reason, we gotta shake things up!
So go out and see what the world has to offer — together — even if it is just the next town over. However, you might be wondering what to do if you are still stuck after all these steps…
Need More Guidance Out of Your Marriage Rut?
Depending on how long your marriage has been in a rut, you may have to go through these steps several times. Not only that, but you may have to get more creative each time you do.
If that freaks you out, don’t worry.
In my book “Build an Empire: How to Have it All,” I have exercises and advice on business, love, and everything in between.
Grab your FREE copy here.
In the meantime, recommit to your marriage and put the above plan into action. Those alone will get you on the right track.
Build an Empire,
Elena Cardone
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