A while back, a girl came to Grant and me with a question… about love. She asked,
“What do you do when you love a guy… but he says business is his #1 priority? Should I move on?”
This is a great question. It made me wonder…
Can love “conquer all” like in the movies? Or should we listen to Grant when he says, “love is overrated?”
Grant and I love and would do anything for each other. But when we first met, Grant made one thing clear.
Grant did not expect ME to fulfill him. But equally, I couldn’t ask Grant to give up his goals and dreams.
I would never ask Grant to do that – but he makes an important point.
A lot of couples believe their partner should fulfill them. So they throw out their career and life goals.
If you’re in a happy relationship, life’s complete, right?
This is a new phenomenon, by the way. Our ancestors never expected their partner to fulfill them.
We learned this idea from Hollywood movies.
I once read a book by Professor Eli Finkel. It’s called “The All-or-Nothing Marriage.” In it, he said:
“People are increasingly seeking self-actualization within their marriage. We expect our spouse to help us become a better version of ourselves.”
That’s a lot of pressure to put on one person, don’t you think?
I always say your relationship should be fun.
When one person expects their partner to fulfill them, they turn OFF the fun factor and create a relationship pressure cooker.
This can’t happen when you play at bigger levels.
Because – when you play at bigger levels – situations get tense.
At times, your mission will expand to levels you never even imagined. Distraction is not an option…
Not even when love has created the distraction.
It’s why Grant and I have a clear mission and purpose. This mission expands beyond our marriage.
We let our mission fulfill us, so we can enjoy our relationship for what it is:
Two people who love each other, working towards a shared set of goals… and who have great fun doing it.
I encourage you and your partner to do the same.
For the record, I’m not saying this is easy. Most of us have been programmed to expect our partners to fill us up.
It takes discipline to shift fulfillment-seeking away from your partner… and onto your own goals.
So here’s a simple trick to start you on the right path to fulfillment.
Thinking differently about your relationship is like a muscle. You need to make a conscious choice to reset your relationship expectations. You can start small.
For example:
The next time you want your partner to come home early from the office, ask yourself why you’re asking that question.
Is it because coming home early will benefit your mission as a couple?
Or is it because YOU want to feel loved and appreciated in that moment?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciated. Believe me, I used to get mad when Grant didn’t come home at 6pm sharp.
But nowadays, I pay attention to the 1000s of other ways Grant shows me his love and appreciation.
I focus on my own goals and mission and give Grant space to do his thing.
Like I just said, this is not an easy shift to make. You might find it difficult to make this shift alone.
Especially when your family, friends, TV shows, and movies all want you to believe your relationship should complete you.
That’s why I have an invitation for you.
It’s an invitation to receive FREE support inside my exclusive Empire Elite Society Facebook group.
Inside this group, you’ll meet like-minded Empire Builders. These are people who make big things happen every day.
And we will support you to do the same.
All you have to do is register for Build an Empire University. It costs just $270 (regular price $1,997).
Once you’ve registered, I’ll add you to the Elite Empire Society group – where you can ask me anything!
Access to the group is FREE during the holiday season.
After that, I will likely close the doors again… unless you join one of my personalized coaching programs (which cost upwards of $10,000).
Here’s the link if you want to grab this opportunity before it disappears.
Build an Empire,
Elena Cardone
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