One of the biggest mistakes couples make is to divide their roles in an equal manner in their partnership.
For example…
When Grant and I first got married, we thought we should share our responsibilities fifty-fifty.
On top of that… I absolutely wanted to remain a strong, independent woman.
Which is why I pushed my way up the Hollywood career ladder… while Grant built his seminar business.
So, we split everything right down the middle for an equal partnership:
From our household chores, to our finances, to decisions about our future family.
On the surface, this might seem like a fair approach.
But some years into our marriage, we realized our mistake…
Because – when you divide roles as an equal partnership – you create a situation where no one is in charge.
And no one is responsible for getting things done. The result?
Grant and I were always fighting.
I felt like Grant wasn’t helping enough with cooking, cleaning, and such…
And Grant believed I should give him a break when he’d been on the road all week.
This put a lot of strain on our relationship.
But the fact of the matter is…
We created that situation ourselves – because we did not define who did what in our empire.
Think about it…
You would never appoint two people as CEO of one company.
Imagine what would happen if you did!
During Undercover Billionaire, I remember Grant saying:
“Someone has got to be in control. You never want an equal 50/50 partnership. And you never want two people in charge.”
Why?
Because when two people run a company, nothing gets done – and you’ll likely end up in the courthouse.
It’s no different in a relationship.
Which is why you must define who does what in your empire. And you must always know your role.
The question is: HOW do you define your roles?
Step 1 – Eliminate Pre-existing Beliefs
You start by letting go of any pre-existing beliefs about male or female roles.
You must also throw off beliefs like, “strong women must do it all on their own.”
I held onto that ^^ belief for years.
It’s one of the reasons why Grant and I stayed stuck for so long.
Anyway…
You might have noticed that our roles appear very “traditional.”
This is not down to stereotyping.
It’s down to something completely different, which I’ll get into in a second.
Grant and I know many couples whose roles are the exact opposite of ours. The wife rakes in millions at work… while the husband handles their home life.
It doesn’t matter who does what in your empire.
What matters is that you choose your roles based on your strengths and weaknesses.
Step 2 – Identify Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Several years back, I finally figured out my superpower. For years, I gave myself no credit for being a great “supporter.”
It felt like no big deal. Until…
I discovered the meaning of the word “support.” Do you know what it means?
It means “to bear the weight of someone or something.”
And if you’ve ever tried to bear the weight of a man like Grant… you’ll know it takes superhuman strength to do it!
Not everyone can bear the weight of a titan like Grant Cardone.
But that is my strength. And it’s why I’m committed to my role as the Supporter in our empire.
Now, Grant is not a supporter.
Grant has other strengths, like his insane ability with numbers and finance. Grant is also a beast in business.
I can’t do what Grant does with numbers and business-building.
So, it makes sense for Grant to take on those roles in our empire.
Step 3 – Delegate
Time is your most precious asset. And when you play in the big leagues you’ll very quickly discover…
There are not enough hours in the day for housework…
School pick-ups…
Work-outs…
And nailing it at the office.
I recently read an article that said 56% of all couples say balancing career and family is their number one challenge.
You and I both know… it’s impossible to thrive as a couple when you’re drowning in to-do lists.
Which is why the happiest couples I know are the ones who delegate.
They simply say, “I don’t like this task” or “I’m no good at that task”…
“So let’s pay someone more qualified to take it off our plate.”
Of course, not everyone can afford to delegate all their unwanted tasks right away. But I always say…
If you want to build an empire, you must carry yourself the way a queen would. Even before you’ve earned the title.
And you can bet your bottom dollar a real queen knows how to delegate!
Step 4 – Own Your Domain
When I say, “know your role” – here’s what I’m talking about:
I’m talking about taking responsibility for living at a higher level.
I’m talking about disciplining yourself to know when to take action… and when to stop.
This is very important.
Because part of knowing your role is owning your domain… and respecting your partner as “General” of their domain.
What do I mean by that?
Well, let’s say Grant and I are discussing teaching materials for our daughters.
And let’s say Grant wants to add an extra hour of math to their day.
Whereas I think Sabrina and Scarlett study enough math already.
Both our opinions are valid. But we’re unable to agree.
In the past, discussions like this would have created a stalemate situation. But nowadays…
Grant respects my role as “General” of the parenting domain.
To be clear… it isn’t always my way or the highway with our kids.
Grant’s perspective is important. And he can be very persuasive!
But parenting is my domain. It means I get final say if we’re struggling to reach a compromise.
Similarly, Grant gets final say in all of his domains.
Knowing your role is a very simple idea.
But it’s an idea that can be a game-changer for anyone who wants to build an extraordinary relationship and empire.
Build an empire,
Elena Cardone
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