In business, there are many positive steps and beliefs that people should take and hold in order to be successful. But there are also many things that people must learn to avoid if they want to achieve success. Here is a smattering of things to avoid. I call them my “Nine Nuggets of ‘No’.”
- Victim mentality – if you think you’re “The Victim,” you’ve just given them the power to control you.
- Thinking you can change other people – they won’t change because of you. It’s only when they go through a traumatic emotional event that they’ll change.
- Resist the unchangeable – this is where the irresistible force (you) meets the immovable object. It won’t work. Learn what you can—then move on.
- Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence – not true, unless you live at Disneyland.
- Others can/will make you happy – Wrong. The only person who can make you happy is YOU. Other people can do/avoid doing, say/avoid saying things that will please you, but that’s temporary and doesn’t really achieve happiness.
- You have to prove you’re right – admitting you’re wrong is a much bigger deal and will achieve much better results than getting locked into an endless battle, where you both lose.
- Worry about what others think – unless they pay your mortgage, your car loan, buy you food, clothing, etc., worrying about what others think about you is a complete waste of time. First of all, worrying about it won’t get them to stop thinking that way. Second, most people think that others think bad things about them. What you focus on expands. Do you know that most people do not think about you at all?
- Focus on blame – this is tied into to people’s sense of security and self-preservation. Employees are good at playing the blame-shifting game, instead of figuring out what went wrong and how to avoid it again in the future. If you want success, figure out what works and what doesn’t.
- Worrying – As point out above, what you focus on expands. Worrying is like praying for something that you don’t want. Instead, it’s much better to have discipline to write down what you want, then work on achieving it.
