There is no argument that you should stick up for your friends. Despite that, doing it is a whole other matter… Especially when the negativity is coming from people you like! Nevertheless, I discovered several effective as I built my empire…
Both gathering the courage to stand up for your allies and how to go about it are tough to navigate. It requires a level of confidence to pull it off — as well as a certain diplomacy.
The truth is that this only sounds difficult. Once you have a few tools, you will be able to stick up for your friends without blinking twice.
And, this scenario will present itself less often…
Knowing the Difference Between INFORMATION & GOSSIP
Sometimes, it is important to the well-being of you and those you care about to identify enemies of your empire. Unfortunately, that includes finding out the unpleasant characteristics of people you care about…
SO, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN SOMEONE REPORTING INFO OR TALKING TRASH.
This first step will help you determine if you should stick up for those friends or not based on real data.
A report to look out for you will include:
- When it happened
- Where it happened
- What happened
For example, “I saw Joe steal $20 from your office drawer on Tuesday.”
It’s an extreme example. But, we can agree that this is information that you need to know. In contrast, gossip would sound something like this…
“I heard that Jane really likes to party on the weekend.”
This statement sounds like it’s telling you something “helpful.” However, there is no solid proof of an instance of this occurring.
Now that you know the difference, let’s talk about how to stick up for your friends when others start gossiping…
Two Ways to Stick Up For Your Friends
Next, I will show you two approaches you can use to stick up for your friends — depending on the circumstances.
There is just one more note I want to make before we begin…
That is the real purpose of friends.
With that in mind, I encourage you to take a closer look at people putting this negativity on your plate. In the meantime, here are the strategies to defend your teammates.
Call Out the Messenger!
I use this first approach often because it lets the person talking trash know I do NOT tolerate that in my space.
IN SHORT, I CALL THE PERSON OUT FOR SPREADING RUMORS.
Also, I recommend this method when the rumor you hear is especially nasty. You can say something along these lines…
“Hey! That is my friend you are talking about. What are you doing?”
This conveys that this kind of talk harms your relationships when this third party has no evidence of wrongdoing.
That being said, there is also a way you can go about this more gently…
The “Hear-No-Evil” Approach
If you are handling this with someone you don’t want to be aggressive with, you can bring it down a notch with this…
“I’m sorry, (Name). I believe that hearing ill of others is worse than speaking ill. And, that person is my friend so I can’t hear that.”
Others respond to this strategy well because it rings true.
Whichever of these ways you choose to stick up for your friends, just do it and don’t feel nervous. But if you are still shaky, there is something you should keep in mind…
Remember THIS If You’re Afraid to Stick Up for Your Friends
At the end of the day, we all need other people. We need reliable support systems to reach our full potential.
But not only that, genuine comrades are hard to come by.
It is a disservice to them to not stick up for the loyal friends you have. And wouldn’t you want them to speak up for you?
Build an Empire,
Elena Cardone
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