In life, we are all going to have to change how we operate to meet our goals. When this happens, you can either let it tear you down or it could be what helps you find yourself and your true calling.
I used to be a mess when I was my younger, oh-so-cool self, but once I was given the right motivation…
I was able to become the woman I knew I could be.
Why Should You “Find Yourself?”
When people talk about finding themselves, it can feel incredibly overwhelming.
I can hear it now…“When you do these 50 things, you’ll finally be able to find yourself!”
The truth is so much simpler than people let on.
Finding yourself is not about targeting everything wrong with you and trying to erase it. It’s about asking yourself who you want to be and what life you want to lead…
AND FIGURING OUT WHAT IT’S GOING TO TAKE TO GET THERE.
To discover who you are, you need to figure out how to become the person who is going to pave the way to the dream life you’ve always wanted.
I was able to do it by sitting down and getting clear with myself about what I wanted…
More specifically… I was trying to understand what I wanted in my perfect partner.
My List and My Growth
I’ve shared this story before, but I want to reiterate how important my list was to creating the woman I am today.
Before I met Grant, I was tired and jaded by the dating scene. As I was losing hope, a friend of mine told me to sit down and make a list of everything I wanted to find in my perfect partner.
Here are some of the bullet points I included:
- Must have green eyes and be 6’2
- Can afford to buy me Cartier
- Has my back no matter what and treats me with respect
While I wrote my list, I asked myself a question:
Who is my dream man’s dream woman? Or, more simply,
WOULD MY DREAM MAN BE ATTRACTED TO ME?
To answer myself, I wrote another list. Only this time, I wrote it from the perspective of my ideal partner and what his ideal woman might look like.
My Second List
On that list, I wrote that this woman was:
- Loyal, beautiful, and intelligent
- Drug and alcohol-free
- Dependable and trustworthy
- A true partner who is interested in marriage
I knew that when I was writing that list I had a few of those qualities already. But I still had work to do if I wanted to get all the way there.
I was able to meet Grant one month after writing that list and he fits (almost) every one of my bullet points. While our relationship has been a gift, this was my opportunity to discover who I wanted to be.
MY LIST WAS THE FOUNDATION THAT LED TO MY LIFE NOW.
If you need a place to start your journey to find yourself…
Making a list can be one of your best bets.
Creating The Person You Want To Become
The lists I wrote were my starting points. After finishing them, I began my quest for self-improvement, becoming the woman deserving of the life I wanted for myself.
Now I can look back and say with full confidence that I am glad I started making moves to ensure my future instead of waiting for someone to just hand it to me.
I highly encourage you to create your own lists for the life you want. I know it can sound cheesy but you gotta trust me on this one.
Getting Started
Making a list doesn’t even have to be for finding your perfect partner like mine was. It can be for whatever you want.
Maybe your list is for finding your dream job…
Hitting a new sales record…
Or moving to a better home…
Whatever it might be you have to ask yourself “What kind of person is leading the life I want to lead.” Any answers you have, make sure you write down.
THE PURPOSE OF “THE LIST” IS TO MAKE YOU CLEAR ABOUT WHO YOU ARE, WHERE YOU WANT TO BE, AND WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE. SO BE HONEST. CONFRONT THE EXISTING SCENE IN ORDER TO GET THE IDEAL SCENE YOU ULTIMATELY DESIRE.
When you’re figuring out how to find yourself, you always have to keep your deepest desires in sight…
Then start working towards making them a reality.
Build an Empire,
Elena Cardone
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