A few years ago, I was welcomed on a podcast to talk about the empire I’m building with Grant and our kids and while our entire conversation was fantastic…
I kept thinking about one idea in specific…
When you’re a woman with a mission to fulfill and accomplish, a lot of people will tell you to remember the following two words: Family First.
Now, Grant and I love our two girls, but I can promise you this: In my line of work…
Family does NOT always come first.
Let me explain.
Your Purpose Drives Your Action
Before you come at me, keep in mind that when my family needs me, I absolutely always put them first.
But when it comes to the ebb and flow of everyday life, it’s about striking a balance between your values.
The truth is…
IF YOU WANT TO PRIORITIZE YOUR FAMILY, YOU NEED TO BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR DIRECTION AND PURPOSE IN LIFE FIRST.
Finding your purpose isn’t something that happens overnight but it’s an essential investment that will set the course for the rest of your life. Once you’ve figured it out, you can determine what to spend your time and energy doing VS what not to.
You need to focus on what actions will get you closer to accomplishing your purpose and cut out the excess.
If you’re like me and you value time with your family, you might feel pushed to always have family first on the list of priorities…
But you may not be able to due to your bandwidth…
This is where balance comes in again.
The Myth Of Finding Balance Within “Family First”
The issue that I have with the term “finding balance” is that so many people think that balance means everlasting harmony and perfection all of the time.
I don’t know about you…
BUT MY LIFE IS ALMOST NEVER PERFECT AND HARMONIOUS AT ANY POINT IN TIME.
So if you want to put family first, you need to ditch the idea of finding “perfection”…
And realize that true balance is in how well you can juggle your priorities.
In that podcast episode, I call myself a master juggler because I have mastered being able to focus on what demands my attention at this moment…
Dealing with it…
And then moving on to the next thing.
The fact is you can’t ALWAYS put family first because sometimes you’re going to be focused on pursuing something that serves your mission.
But there’s one thing that I haven’t mentioned yet…
Being able to find and achieve your purpose doesn’t have to take away from your family…
In reality, if you really want to put family first these two endeavors need to be interconnected.
Family First Means Inclusion
The problem with “family first” is that this assumes an all-or-nothing mentality.
You can either only spend time with your family or you can only spend time accomplishing your goals.
The truth is…
Family first means being able to value time with your loved ones while simultaneously still working towards your purpose.
And when it comes to your kids, you don’t have to push them aside to accomplish what you’re aiming for.
Communication is essential to making any family unit cooperate but to strike a balance it is essential to first let your family into your mission…
And trust them to understand.
For example, if I am at a speaking engagement and my kids want to get ahold of me because theyre bored…
THEY KNOW THAT IF THEY ALLOW ME TO COMPLETELY FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HAND I CAN COMPLETE MY MISSION OF INSPIRING WOMEN AND RESTORING THE FAMILY UNIT…
And by that extent, they are contributing to my mission of helping people as well.
When you communicate with your kids about why it is so important that you fulfill your purpose…
You can come back to them and ask them “Hey, what gives you purpose? How can I support you in achieving your dreams in the same way you support me in achieving mine?”
Let’s face it, we all want to put family first…
But are you REALLY putting family first if you’re constantly stressed out about the work you should be doing when you’re spending time with them?
…My guess is no.
Keeping Sight Of What’s Important
In short…
Family cannot always come first.
BECAUSE IF IT DID, HOW WOULD YOU FIND THE TIME TO DO YOUR PART IN CHANGING THE WORLD?
When you’re able to juggle your priorities based on what needs your attention most, you will always be able to have it all…
And on the plus side, this ability also becomes something that your kids can look up to. Not only are they seeing you in action as a good parent…
But they get to witness you be a good person with strong morals who follows through with their plans.
Ultimately, sometimes putting family first means focusing on your purpose…
Because to build an empire and provide for your family…
You need to make room for both.
Build An Empire,
Elena Cardone
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